I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
