So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
