they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I am available for nakedness
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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