im drinking this country out of the recession.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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