I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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