Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
