What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I hope mine doesn't look like that
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I need to calm my uterus...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
