Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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