dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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