Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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