Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
