So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
