Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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