they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Randomize
