I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
