i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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