I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
