I have demons in me.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
