i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
