I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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