Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
