so that wasnt chicken after all
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
