The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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