Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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