Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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