shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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