This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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