I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
