he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
