I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
