when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
