o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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