But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
