No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
