I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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