she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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