and you said cock pushups were impossible
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
