My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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