that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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