Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
