I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
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