I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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