Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
