Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
