ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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