Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
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