Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
