You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
