I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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