I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
