Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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