Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just invented taco cereal.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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